The Gym!

I’ve started going to the gym and it is amazing. It’s crazy how much better working out can make you feel about yourself! I’m much more confident and it boosts my mood big time.

Most of the time I wear yoga pants and a big t-shirt, but today I wore actual workout clothes and it made me feel like a total babe. I’m getting there.

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New friend…?

Okay so, I’ve been living in Virginia for 10 months now. I have yet to make a single friend. Not one. I don’t talk to anyone. 

I like to keep to myself and that really prevents me from being able to open up to people enough to be friends. I have friends back home that I’m close to and they make me happen so I haven’t felt the need to expand. But yesterday I made a friend.

Dory and I were at the lake when a boy came near us and asked if we minded him fishing there. I didn’t really plan on talking to him but dory wandered over to him and I was having a good day so I say ‘hey why not’. 

I mustered up the courage to chat with him and he showed me how to use the fishing pole(cast a line?). And then I asked him for his number so that if he planned on fishing again I could bring Dory down to swim and chat with him.

So he texted me not even an hour later and we talked for a few hours. He was obviously flirting with me but then told me he has a girlfriend. Like what? So I kind of freaked out a little. 

Then the conversation took a turn I did not see coming. Him and his girlfriend were trying to recruit me for a threesome! Mind. Blown.

This was a first for me. I never in my life imagined I’d have this happen to me. So much for making friends…

I’ve got one month left in Virginia. Wish my luck. 

On the Move

After months of thought, I’ve decided to move back home. I can’t wait to be with my family again. I have a place to move into and am currently job hunting. I had a nanny agency interview which went fabulously. I’m praying they can find me my unicorn family.

In the nanny world, the “unicorn family” is like your ideal family. It’s the family you dream of working for, with the perfectly imperfect children and good pay and benefits. Are nannies the only employees that dream of working? Lol 

Anyways, I’m psyched to decorate my place how I want it. I want to be one of those girls that has this perfect-looking life, ya know. Of course none of it’s true, it’s just an image. But a girl can dream right? Do other girls dream of these things? Do they pretend to be something they’re not?

Up and Out

I’ve been missing my family and friends so much lately. I went home for the weekend and it only confirmed my home sickness. I’m planning on packing up and moving back home this May. 

The hardest part of this will be telling the family I work for that I’m leaving. I love them but the stress is killing me. I’m exhausted from the long hours and I’m unappreciated. I hate to let them down but I need to take care of myself. This is one of the hardest parts of being a nanny. Sigh. 

I’ve started looking for a new job back home. I’m hoping to find an awesome family to work. Wish me luck. I need it. 

Xoxo

Charlotte 

Unhappiness and the Self-Esteem Crusher 

I’ve been feeling unhappy in my life lately. It’s not that my life is bad. I’m sure many people would look at my life and think it’s all sunshine and rainbows, and at times it is. But 75% of the time I feel this unhappiness in my soul. 

My mom keeps telling me “make a change”. But there’s really no where a change can be made. I could quit my job and move back home with my family, but I left there for a reason, so I doubt going back is the answer to my unhappiness. 

I’d really like to get my own place and the freedom that comes with it. My aunts controlling attitude is so overbearing. Nothing I do is ever good enough for her. For example, she told me today, “you can’t afford a new laptop” when I asked her for recommendations on one. The funny part is, I most definitely can afford a new laptop. I could afford an apartment if I could find one. 

Being put down by her constantly is really crushing my self-esteem. 

Send good vibes please…

Monday

Ugh mondays. The universe groans in disapproval the second the sun rises on this day. 

You often hear people say, “they should just cancel Monday” or “everyone should have Mondays off”. But wouldn’t Tuesday then become the new Monday? 

Anyways, I hope your Monday was better than expected 🙂